Garlic Breadism

The movement as a whole believes that the universe is shaped like the picture on the box of Texas Toast ® Garlic bread. Followers practice in the art of self-reflection, as well as perfection if one's inner self. Mainly this helps embody the spirit of a picture of Texas Toast ® Garlic bread. Of course, one is not expected to be as perfect as a picture of Texas Toast ® Garlic bread. Mainly being that just like the contents of the box, the actual bread itself is flawed, and kinda sucks compared to homemade garlic bread, or just any store-bought brand out there.

The religion believes that commerce is the key to spread love and garlic across the cosmos, instead of direct action, they "inadvertently" cause food shortages across the world each year to spread its influence.

The song of the cosmos:

“More memes mean bigger dreams-

Little tambourines make the cheese all lean-

All the cheese makes the garlic stay mean-

Garlic makes the non-follows go on their knees-

Non-followers make our bread stay fresh, but no beans please.”

Garlic Doctrine

1- Eat Garlic Bread.

2- Try to embody the picture of Texas Toast ® Garlic Bread.

3- Don't make the bread yourself, that is what slaves are for.

4- Cause food shortages to make people eat your slave bread, but do not admit to it publicly.

5- The divinity of any other Godly figure is mandated to be mocked, denied, and belittled.

Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.