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Baa-ism is the oldest faith on Orbis. They profess faith in Sheepy as the divine savior of Orbis and proclaim that faith in Sheepy will bring a long and happy life. The church invites all those of Orbis to come, and once again eat of the pastures of life, and not be cast into the barren rocks below.

Global Church Officers[]

  • Holy Emissary of the Church of Baa-ism: Von Koenige
  • Master of Theology: Adama
  • Ayatollah of the Faith: Britishdude

The Great Baa[]

The Holy Text of Baa-ism is the Great Baa. There are forty-two books cannonized in the Great Baa, detailing the creation of Orbis, the fall of the nations, and the cause of global pain and suffering. The first chapters of the creation story are as follows:

1 In the beginning was there was wool. 2And the wool was with the Great Sheep. 3From the white wool of the Great Sheep came the two sons, the Grey and Black Sheep. 4The Great Sheep, in all his mercy and magnificence, created the world. 5It was formless and void. 6Great energy filled the Cosmos, and with the sound of his voice, formed into the stars and heavens above. 7The great creator, in love, saw that the world was barren, and thus created life and filled the world in abundance with his image and purpose. 8His name was Sheepy, the great Shepherd.

2 Man, being the most loved of his image, was created with wool along his skin, drawn from the very fabric of the Great Sheep himself. 2The holiest of holy sacraments. 3Man was placed in the ever green pastures, where he would frolic and play, among that which is holy. 4Never to die or suffer, only to love and hope. 5All was not well in the garden however. 6The Black Sheep, in his jealousy, wished to undermine the great Shepherd, and tempted man to leave the great pastures. 7He claimed there were greener pastures on the other side, but rather, he led them to grass of brownish color. 8Not knowing of the disgusting nature of this grass, man ate of it.

3 The holy wool cannot be in the presence of that which is evil, like fire and ice. 2The wool shed from the skin of man, leaving him bare and cold, and needing to cover himself. 3Sheepy, in his sorrow, was forced to conceal the green pastures from man. 4“You will till the land for your food, and build shelter from the elements. 5Man must now work to regain his holy stature, and meet me in the heavenly pastures, or be cast as a goat, into the barren rocks below.”


Baa-ists worship the Sheepy every day of the week by collecting resources from The Great Sheep in a process called divine collection. After divine collection, hymns of praise are sung to Sheepy, such as the popular Amazing Wool, written by Baa-ist apologist Fox Fire:

Amazing wool, how soft the fur,

that warmed a wretch like me.
I one was lost, but now I'm found.
Was cold, but now I'm warm.

Twas wool that taught my heart to hunger
and wool, my hungers relieved.
How warm did that wool appear
the hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come;
'Tis the Sheep that brought me safe thus far
and the Sheep will lead me home.

The Sheep has promised good to me
his wool my hope secures.
He will my shepard and portion be
as long as life endures.

Yea, when this flesh and cotton shall fail
and mortal life shall cease
I shall possess within the pastures
a life of joy and graze.

Yea, when this flesh and cotton shall fail
and mortal life shall cease
I shall possess within the pastures
a life of joy and graze.